Book
Title: Just
Listen
Author – Mark Goulston
Many a
times, we make an opinion based on the title of the book. I also thought that
Just Listen would be another book on self-help on improving the listening
skills. After reading the book once and glancing across the notes on the four
large sessions of the book, I conclude this book is not about just listening
but its more about building teams, working with different people and overall
framework for individual and organisation development. Communication, Collaboration
and clarity is required while interaction with teams, framework is required to
listen, understand and motivate to handle different people. Just listen is an
book, which provides an comprehensive toolkit with examples and introspections
for reaching anyone, getting through anyone, building buy in and channelizing
for putting things across. The key
summaries on the each of the sessions and the takeaways are as below;
Section
– I : The secret of reaching anyone
The
secrete of reaching anyone is the magic of using words who resist to listen to willing
to do anything. The core of communication is the persuasion cycle: To take the
people from the beginning to the end of the persuasion cycle, one need to speak
with them in a manner that convinces them. All encouragement involves moving
people through the steps called "Persuasion Cycle:
- - From Resisting to listening
- - From Listening to consideration
- - From Consideration to willing to do
- - From willing to do to doing
- - From doing to glad they did and continuing to do
Words
has power to encourage and discourage to motivate and like. Use of the right
words and right tone develop comfortability to continue what needs to be
achieved.
Section
– II : The Nine core rules for getting through to anyone
The Nine
core rules for getting though anyone
- 1. Move yourself from “OF F#@& to OK : Releasing yourself from the stress to get emotions under control. The technique is to release of anger or stress from The reaction phase to Release phase to recentre phase to refocus phase to reengage phase.
- 2. Rewire yourself to listen : Perceiving is believing, Misperceiving is deceiving. Based on the first impression or perception on what we hear and see we make fictitious creation about the person which may be prejudice. To understand the person, we need to rewire the open communication with open mind to access the real person’s needs.
- 3. Make the other person Feel “Felt”: Putting yourself into the other persons shoes to understand the feeling.
- 4. Be more interested than interesting : Using positive affirmation while listening to mark open-up for communication
- 5. Make people feel Valuable : use of body language and human needs for respect, recognition and belonging. It helps in improve engagement, cooperation, collaboration and communication
- 6. Help people to exhale emotionally and mentally: use emotions and positive affirmation as key to listen. Allow people to vent and get as much off of their chest as they feel is possible, without you interrupting or being judgmental.
- 7. Check your dissonance at the door: When you have disagreement don’t hesitate to take feedback from the co-workers, friends and relatives.
- 8. When all seems lost – Bare your neck: Don’t give-up
- 9. Steer clear of toxic people : There are different type of people – Needy People, Bullies, Takers, Narcissists, Psychopaths.
Section
– III : 12 Quick and easy ways to achieve buy-in and get through
- 1. The impossibility questions: About asking the right question to move from listening to consideration.
- 2. The magic paradox : shifting from nobody understand to you understand for gaining the trust to cooperate for solutions.
- 3. The empathy jolt : application of empathy and willingness to work towards solutions using relationship.
- 4. The reverse play empathy jolt: using empathy to change the behaviour to avoid problems.
- 5. Do you really believe that : building confidence
- 6. The power of Hmmm : making feel comfortable and active listening
- 7. The stipulation gambit : Neutralizing the weak points.
- 8. From transaction to transformation: Use right words and affirmations for sales pitch to build ideas and interest for future success either negotiating or relating to the scenarios. Transactional communications don't create traction in a relationship because they're impersonal and shallow.
- 9. Side by Side: shared and communication by asking open questions.
- 10. What would you say: putting the right question to open up
- 11. Fill in the blanks
- 12. The power thank you and power apology: Power of thank you is for something specific, Acknowledging the efforts and difference that has made. Apology consists of the 4 R's: Remorse, Restitution, Rehabilitation, and Requesting forgiveness.
Sector
– IV: Putting it all together: Fast fixes for seven challenging situations
·
The
team from Hell
o Make feel happy – Make feel
needed – Make feel important – Secret out in the open
·
Climbing
the ladder
·
The
narcissist at the table
·
Stranger
in the town
o Visibility | Credibility |
profitability stages
·
The
human explosion
·
Getting
through to yourself
·
Six
degrees of separation
o Create one to one situations ,
Make virtual allies, reach the gatekeepers,
