Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Graveyard Visit

When I was searching for a shelter, one of my friend suggested an beautiful flat in a gated community. It was fascinating to Watch from the balcony of the bedroom of that flat, to view the water fall with birds sounding the place. The interiors were providing good ambiance. The thought that strike my mind was why the owner of the flat wanted to sell such a beautiful spacious flat.  Why there are no buyers and why is the owner wants to disperse the flat at a lower market value. These were some of the thoughts that lead to be inquisitive.  As I walked at the rare gate to catch a cab, sharing my thoughts to the party, the broker informed that there is a graveyard belongs to a particular community nearby the vicinity. Obviously  after due diligence with friends and family, we never visited that place.

Death is inevitable. Today using the technology and having a futuristic view, we are planning the birth. The date of birth is also chosen on an auspicious day, however whatever may be the circumstances and technology, till date we could not defeat the death or even plan our death.

My house was located near the church. On the backyard crossing the road was a large grave yard. When I was serving as an altar boy, I have watched a number of funeral mass. I do even remember and recollect some of the funerals of rich and poor, old and young, loved and hated ones. I recall when I was a child, far away there was a death of a community member and when the priest was performing the funeral mass there were only five people accompanying the body. In most of the other funerals, the church was filled with community members, but in this case the community was absent, the people staying nearby the church were missing. The nuns staying in the convent near the church were absent. I was in deep distress to understand what was wrong ? even in death. After a deep exploration, I could understand that the family migrated few years back from a neighbouring state and were working as a labour in one of the estates. The news of the sudden death could not reach the near and dear ones and hence only handful of people were present to show their respect. I reflect, today most of us, have migrated to build an future, leaving behind our family and friends are we be lonely in our death…

I had one Master, with whom I would debate on certain beliefs. Apart from teaching in the school, he would play the keyboard in the church. One could feel his absence when the coir would sing. He would attend all most all the funeral and lead the choir. The voice and hymns would make the atmosphere in the church as something we have lost deeply. Many a times after the seventh day rituals, he would narrate his plans on his own funeral. He would always mention, that he would like to see from the coffin as the body leaves the church to the graveyard, how many had come to pay there last homage and respect. I had listen to similar narration from my grandmother. I always wondered why so; today when I echo, people paying there last homage and respect is all about how you have respected and helped others in your life time. Life is all about struggle between the birth and death. Each individual has to overcome turbulence in order to find the purpose or float in life. When the purpose has a shared mission life is respected and when the respected life ends, people pay homage. When we are born in a hospital bed and when we move to our house, we are usually carried by our parents. But when we depart our life, we are carried by the people whom we know or who loved us. So in death we are dignified.

Life is experienced at three places, Hospital, Prison and Graveyard.

Hospital – where we are born and we visit every time when we are ill. The irony of being in hospitalized makes the difference. May be rich or poor the pain of being lonely, the stress of unhealthy and examination to share becomes unavoidable. But we humans, in hospital show our power and hierarchy on the way we get treated and visited. The poor or the rich bears the same pain, however the rich are treated with hygiene and poor is surrounded by the loved one to shower care.
Prison is another place, where the innocent is tourchered with agony of shame with loneliness and guilty of having no love.
Graveyard is the place where we ultimately rest our body. The place where someone distant or close, remember the good or bad deeds seeded in his life time. Graveyard reminds that whether you are rich or poor, your body is made of dust and detoriates to dust, still we live a life filled with ego, prejudices, envy and hatred all the time.

Graveyard or shantidama is a place of peace or rest. Most of the graveyards are surrounded by trees with memorials. Graves in the graveyard reminds the homecoming. Walking around a large graveyard is a mixed feeling, a feeling of how we lost our loved ones and memories of best times we had with them. A visit to graveyard on All Souls Day is a holy day set aside for honouring the dead. All Souls' Day commemorates the faithful departed. It is one day, in a year when the family stands near by the grave and pray for the departed soul, it is a moment when the tears of love and affection and hurt that we carry is reconciled. A day, when flowers and candles are burned on the grave in remembrance when the prayer are said in open. A day when the graveyard and graves are filled with faithful joined together in prayer.
How sad, when there are many graves that are left alone, no one to place flowers and burn candles and pray for the departed when their loved ones are preoccupied with their own needs and wants. A day, even the dead may wonder to see the love or hate when they would look forward. I too miss…….


The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. | He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, | he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. | Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. | You prepare a table before me in the presence of
my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. | Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

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